alis volat propiis,

it’s all come in tiny pieces. one day i think of one thing that leads to a next… one day someone talks to me about something and it leads me to a place that captures my attention… one day i dream of something i want or somewhere i want to go. but more and more i see myself in the future. it’s weird, at first i could see the final picture but i couldn’t see it very clearly. over the past month it seems as if the details of that image have come to surface, little by little. it’s funny because when i get there i’m sure i’ll be so in the middle of life that i won’t even realize.

it’s funny making plans. no matter how much you plan, life is bound to throw you curve balls. plans can be so straight-forward, while life remains really complex. i try to schedule my week so that i can maximize my time, yet no matter what i do i can’t figure in life.

anyway… this plan. it’s good to have one. it feels as if it really makes things more clear to me… about my education, and my chosen degree. it took a lot for me to decide to go through with my english major, for the longest time i couldn’t really see in what ways my degree could benefit me… or at least in what way it would apply to my life once i graduate. i thought about almost every other possible field… sat on different ideas for a long time. it wasn’t until i finally decided to go with my initial intuition that i started getting these visions… about the future me. it’s funny because i remember sometime in high school i thought to myself… ‘i’m not going into english and i’m not going to wayne state.’ yet here i am… at wayne state and studying english. funny.

i’m supposed to be writing a paper, i guess i’ll finish this later.

24GRILLE:

so i’ve been working at 24grille for about a month now. it’s going pretty well. i am a food runner right now, and i’m working on learning the menu so i can become a server. it’s amazing what a blessing it is to be able to work there. in this economy so many people are struggling to find jobs everywhere, but especially in detroit. it’s all about connections and i’ve never believe that more than i do now. working at the grille has already opened me up to even more opportunities and things that i would have never been able to reach on my own. i like working there and i like all the people i work with. i feel like i fit in well there and the management likes me. it’s pretty hard work sometimes when it gets really busy, but i’ve learned to not sweat the small stuff. the restaurant has only been open for a year and they are doing pretty well it seems. they have a pretty steady crowd and unlike a lot of other businesses around the detroit area, they have really no threat of ever being shut down. the food there is fucking amazing. everything i taste there i fall in love with. it’s nice.

24grille does a lot of advertising for HOUR magazine, and one of my managers was chosen for the detroit’s best dressed list in the last issue. they had a huge party at my work (which i unfortunately could not work because of school) for the issue. i’m currently working on using my resources to get a summer internship at HOUR magazine as an assistant editor. i hope it works out!!

anyway, this is just some sort of update about that situation and how lucky i feel to have been hired into my new job. :]

my horoscope from the issue of real detroit that came out this past wednesday…

CAPRICORN: high maintenance people are screaming for attention at a time when you’ve got no energy for it. this most recent tantrum is nothing new but it looks like you’re going to have to stop the train just to handle it. it’s too bad you’re too deeply involved with this baby to tell them to grow up. i have a feeling you’re going to have to rearrange your schedule and make a lot of adjustments just to calm them down. don’t waste too much time on it. it’s crazy to make this much space for someone who won’t meet you halfway and who never seems to change.

nobody is perfect. but it’s so frustrating when people never change. it’s so difficult when you invest so much time and emotions into somebody that your highs become higher and your lows become lower. your happy moments seem too perfect, but your fights just make you feel broken. it gets to a point where you know you would never want to be without that person, yet you still feel as if something needs to change. it’s hard to figure out what needs to be fixed, or to convince that person that they should change, or to admit to yourself that you need to change, or to even have the energy or time to care. i think it’s so easy to be too afraid to admit something isn’t working. so many people let their relationships go to shit because they are too afraid to re-evaluate the situation when things start changing. i think most people are so afraid of being alone that they would rather deny the problems in their relationships until they become out of control than admit maybe things aren’t working. sometimes you don’t even realize things are changing until a sudden eruption of emotions leaves you wondering where everything got so fucked up. i don’t want to go there. i’ve been there before and it’s not worth the pain.

girlswholikegirls:

Thanks for submitting great-perhaps!!

the photo on the right has been the background on my phone ever since i went to see the movie whip it. :]

i hate making posts without photos and i haven’t taken any recently so here is one a friend snapped on top of a roof in brooklyn new york. i look awfully bored but i was mainly exhausted.

anyway, what i wanted to vent about. the less and less i drink the more and more i realize why i want to stop drinking/cut back almost completely. i feel like i have a certain reputation i want to keep. as stupid as that may sound i feel like it’s totally relevant and i think everybody wants to be portrayed a certain way even if they say they don’t care what people think about them. i’m literally disgusted with a lot of the people i’m around with how much they drink. i think it’s extremely unattractive when people get too drunk and lately i’ve felt so unimpressed by basically everybody. i don’t think it’s bad to drink, i just think it says something really negative about you if you get too drunk. and it’s not the type of too drunk that happens to EVERYBODY at some point, it’s the type of too drunk where it becomes who you are and what you do on a regular basis. i can’t help but judge.

i think once i took a step back i could see how stupid the whole thing is. it’s so easy to get sucked into the craziness and want to be apart of the crowd. but personally it’s not me. i don’t want to get too drunk, ever. i don’t want to make a habit of drinking or being a sloppy mess. it’s not me. but i feel like i’m really alone in that aspect. the people i love and i love hanging out with are the exact people i’m talking about. i would never give up the friendships i have now to hang out with people who don’t drink.

so it’s kind of a catch 22. (even though i’m not even entirely sure what that means).

on another note i went shopping for myself yesterday. i haven’t been to a mall since before april when i moved into my loft (couldn’t even afford my rent) and my car broke down (had no way of getting there). it felt REALLY good to be able to go out and spend money on myself. it’s just nice to be able to spoil myself again. i haven’t been able to do that in awhile and it was kind of making me go crazy. i bought some jeans which i was desperately needing and some leather boots which i’ve been obsessively wanting for awhile now. so anyway, that was nice.

work now.

hellojewlie:

I now present a series of statements that get better and better as you keep reading:

• Ice Cream Truck
• Selling Clothes
• For $10-15
• Made by the Olsen Twins
• With all proceeds going to charity
• Featuring free cupcakes
• AND THE ACTUAL OLSEN TWINS?!

Oh and I got the scoop that it’s going to be 4 blocks from the Anthro offices tomorrow? YOU BETTER BELIEVE I WILL BE THERE. [Too bad the actual Olsens will not. But still!] To quote Rachel Zoe [as I so often do], “I die”.

i’m glad somebody is as psyched about this as i am!!! except for you are in NY and i’m in MI so i’m a little disappointed along with my psychedness. haha. let me know how it all looks! i guess for that price it doesn’t even matter! :P